The Next Feedback

[pyrceval]

Thanks, Roy! I like the idea of a fairly slow build up, if you have constant action you fall into the whole scenario like 'well, this time they gotta save the world from a giant purple man eating alien' 'Didnt they do that last issue?'...'No, no, last issue was a giant orange man eating alien...see, completely different...'

Action is wonderful, its great, its what adds fun to these sorts of things, but action by itself has no impact if its far too constant. It needs to have a connection to the reader for you to really be into it.

And about Bala being 'comfortable'...well, shes comfortable with what she can do, as far comfortable being a super hero...let's just wait and see

[Glippernip]

Overall pretty good. I agree that taking time and building character is important, and with only three protagonists so far, you are really delving into what makes them tick so far. I think it is too soon for me to choose my favorite characters or anything like that, but so far the book is fascinating and unique. I will certainly be watching for the newer characters and to see how these develop.

Joel S.

[pyrceval]

I aim to try and make a character have beleivable motivations. I think it helps the reader have an emotional attachment if they can feel where the character is coming from. Sure, not everyone will be able to relate to every character, but hopefully there will be enough relating going on to keep ya interested. Expect the number of important characters to make a sizeable increase over the next couple of issues, (4 fairly notables make an appearance, if brief, in the next issue). Glad you are enjoying the series thus far...I have 7 issues already completed, though I am doing some minor revising each time, and plot lines (some fairly fleshed out, others just framework) up into the 20's already in my head...so stay tuned!

I have one question to ask you all though, the scene with Doc and the priest was one of my newer revisions to the story, I was curious what everyone thought of the character of the priest, what he added or didn't add, whether his interaction with the doc seemed meaningful, that sort of thing. Thanks!

[Glippernip]

My opinion, any scene that develops character can be important, depending on what you are trying to present. Religion is very real in the world and in America, and the fact that some comics present the world as if no one really believes in God defies reality (although, so does a comic book, but you know what I mean). I thought the scene was well done and gives us a little more insight on the Doc.

Joel S.

[Spider-Man Beyond]

yes, I agree with Joel. The Priest scene was nicely done

[pyrceval]

Updated the Database listings with Heromachine images somewhat modified with MS paint. Not really happy with the 'cartoony' look heromachine spits out, but its the best I could come up with.

[Spider-Man Beyond]

The Next #3:

Spectrum and Bala find being a hero isn't easy, and even heroes can make mistakes. The face of evil begins to show itself, and who is the mystery man on the rooftops and what does he have to do with Bala?

[Spider-Man Beyond]

Another good issue. A lot more action this issue as promised. And apparently a few more mysteries as well as a new villain caused by our heroes' mistake....keep up the good work

[pyrceval]

Thanks Dan...issue 4 will give you a knock down drag out kinda fight...just wait

[Glippernip]

Yes, I agree. We are still building the series here, so I'm waiting to see where it all is going. I like Bala. She seems a very well-developed, complex character that we are only starting to learn about. The series has a nice, real world feel to it, not quite the long-underwear characters I generally write! Again, thanks for bringing your work to our site. It's a fun read, and I certainly haven't seen anything that detracts from the overall story yet.

Joel S.

[Spider-Man Beyond]

The Next #4:

Repercussions Part 1: RAGE! A threat they aren't prepared for, released by their own miscalculation. A man turned monster threatens all in his path. Spectrum and Bala are put to a test far greater than any they could have imagined. Can they exceed their limits and save the day... or will they die trying.

Repercussions begins here!

Action? Inaction? Every choice has repercussions. What can you live with doing? What just might kill you?

[Spider-Man Beyond]

And even more action as the Next kids face a behemoth. Very good action here. I like Ronin, but the real question is will he be a straight up villain or someone who disagrees with Jasper's methods

[pyrceval]

That is indeed the question...the next issue, appearing after the break of course, will feature Bala and Ronin. And the lesson learned from this issue is of course...don't mess with the garden gnome. I love coming up with odd things like that in my stories.

As far as Spectrum goes, I wanted it to be clear, that even though yes, he does possess a great deal of power, and it's growing and expanding all the time...he isn't superman. He, and the others, are still very vulnerable and far from unkillable or invulnerable.

So, part 2 will feature Bala and Ronin...and put Bala in an uncomfortable position. Parts 3 and 4 will slow down a little and move us to a small town in NJ glimpsed briefly in issue 3, and wrapping up in issue 7 with a bit of a change...

The idea of this arc is not necessarily a one hundred percent story on its own, more like an 'idea', the concept of repercussions for our actions that all the main characters must learn to deal with and accept for them to be able to do what they do.

[Wonderphoenix]

I am ashamed to say that I have just now got around to reading past #1!!!!! (Sorry, JLAvg. partner!)

I said back in my previous feedback that I like Bala and I am really interested in seeing where you plan to take her.

As for the story, VERY good pacing. I like the style and I am really enjoying your work. You and I have the slow build thing in common so that is cool.

Keep up the great great work!

[pyrceval]

Thank ya, WP. Glad ya finally got off your butt...just kiddin! I know things have been crazy for ya lately. Bala's direction is intentionally vague. Though she is strong and confident, keep in mind she knows nothing of a 'normal life' like what Alex had...and thats bound to leave an impression. She has spent her entire life at the Docs side. If you like her and where she's goin though, look out for the next issue!