A Very Rogue Christmas

[jtisthekey]

The Multiverse Presents

A Very Rogue Christmas

Written by jollyoldsaint

Multiverse Logo created by Tony Peterson

[jtisthekey]

'Twas christmas of '06 and all seemed quite swell,
as the Turtleman snored in his comfortable shell.

Chillblaine enjoyed a brief chance at respite;
His would-be partner kicked him out for the night.

The Kid Trickster was teaching children to steal,
The Folded Man walked among realms thought unreal!

Plunder was thinking of things dark and dreary,
But home with his wife he found himself cheery.

Yet all was not well with this group of rogue thieves.
The Master of Mirrors was not quite appeased!

"The whole thing is hogwash, built for a stooge!
I'll never buy in," said the tired old Scrooge.

"Look at those fools, with their flimflam and flip-flops.
They aren't even scared of that pervert with green tops!"

"...And those kids with their ipods, think they've seen a pastor?!"
"Quit whining," interrupted the Major Disaster.

"I can't help it," protested green-masked Scot.
"I just hate those people, I hate 'em a lot!"

His friend the good Major pulled Master up close.
"Shut it right now or I'll make you a ghost!"

The man with his mirrors walked slowly away,
thinking to hide for the rest of the day.

But lo, he heard voices from a distance quite near!
A group singing carols reached into his ear.

With life in his bones and the devil's own grin,
Evan McCulloch wished he had gin.

He left through a mirror in the men's lavatory,
intending of course to turn 'round his story.

The Major Disaster put face in his palm,
trying in vain to restore his sweet calm.

Wee young Tim Timson skipped with a smile.
His troop of wee orphans had sang now for miles!

The homeless young child had hoped to spread cheer;
the people of Keystone could have used it that year.

He swore even thieves weren't worthy of mirth,
this was meant as a time for peace on all earth!

Except for Korea, thought Tim with a frown.
But God bless our troops, Baghdad they'll run down!

The orphans stopped cold as they came near their goal.
This is it, thought Tim, no average boy's stroll!

A shout soon turned the crowd onto Tim.
The Master of Mirrors jumped from his coatpin!

Shrieking more highly than the girl to his side,
Tim ran away with no thought to his pride.

The homeless protested the mirror man's act,
mentioning Tim was a right scaredy-cat!

Evan merely fiddled with his trademark arms,
kicking a boy who thought singing would charm.

"'Tis the season," said McCulloch with a terrible smile.
"The season for torturin' jinglers in style..."

Wee young Tim Timson was miles away,
but he still heard the screams from that night to this day.

Tim never returned to his ill-fated group,
but this poor orphan's story made quite a big scoop!

"The thief who hates orphans" lost all appeal.
Evan was thrown off his box-office deal!

After placing his mirrors far, far away,
Tim took the pins off his jacket of gray.

I'm safe now, thought Tim, free as the sky!
Unaware of the thief who shined through his eye.

The end of this tale is not one I'll tell.
Suffice it to say that one Scot's course is hell.

But why even speak of this young troupe's grief?
Of the high-voiced lad and the miserly thief?

The moral is simple, I'll say it right here.
Some people can't stand your holiday cheer!

I suppose I could've told this in prose...
eh, just read Earth 8 Flash. Else I'll pound in your nose!

-The End...?