Unlimited Marvels #8 (Featuring Ant Man)

[fan4]

Unlimited Marvels #8
Ant Man, Part 1

Written by Timothy Eklund (rodan)
Edited by Aaron Martel (fan4)

Today, I attended a funeral.

It wasn’t anyone close to me. Hell, I didn’t even know the guy, but when your boss, the grand ruler of the company himself, personally invites you to his father’s funeral, you really don’t have much of a choice.

So some guy stands up front and talks about how great Howard Stark was, as Tony stands there looking somber. There’s an attractive redhead looking vulnerable, but she came here with the eulogy-guy, so I figure she’s taken. Good thing, too. I like you better.

Anyway, I’m just standing there bored as hell, waiting for him to finish.

Eventually, he does. I shake Tony’s hand, and I’m finally out of there. I decide to go to the bar, and here I am.

Did I forget to introduce myself? Damn. Sorry. I’m Hank Pym, scientist extraordinaire. You probably know me as “Dr. Pym, inventor of miracle particles”. I work for Stark Industries, and recently I discovered this… amazing… bizarre… thing. I discovered, completely by accident, this kind of particle that is unlike anything that has ever been encountered before.

They’re completely fascinating. When created, anything they come in contact with just starts shrinking, and before long the particles given off by the reaction fade away. I can’t tell you how to get them; it’s classified.

So anyway, now I’m testing them on animals. If they can work on humans, then it could provide great leaps in exploration and observation, as there seems to be no limit to which they can shrink something. I’ve created a kind of “emitter” that fires the particles at a specific object, shrinking it. So far I’ve been able to shrink a guinea pig to the size of a dust mote. I’ve even managed to bring it back to normal size with another particle I’ve developed that actually counteracts the effects of the original shrinking. Unfortunately, anything it enlarges more than its original size is fairly unstable, and tends to collapse, but I’m working on that.

I’d have tested the particles on a human by now, but the press and consumers have decided that there could be some kinds of dangerous side effects from exposure to the particles- which frankly, is bullshit. But they’ve got my bosses scared, and so I can’t even release it until they’re completely sure. So I’m stuck studying the effects on monkeys and pigs when I should be exploring the subatomic world. Oh well.

Oh, sorry. I got carried away for a bit there, you must be bored stiff. Here, I’ll buy you another drink.

Anyway, about a week ago, I was testing the particles, when my pen ran out of ink, and stupidly, I wasn’t carrying a spare. So I went to the supply room to get a new one. I perused the many cluttered aisles and shelves of the large supply room, trying to navigate my way to the pens, when I heard someone speaking through a back door. Naturally, I was curious, and I leaned against the door to hear better. What I heard was certainly shocking.

They were discussing a theft.

One voice that I didn’t recognize, gruff and deep, mentioned how he had delivered several crates of stolen Stark merchandise to someone in New Mexico. Another apparently got several truckfuls to China! About five thuggish voices related how successful they had been delivering their illegitimate merchandise to various clients.

Then another spoke, and I recognized this one. It was definitely Prof. Elihas Starr, a co-worker of mine. He’s a bald, bespectacled, meek little man, and I never would have guessed that he’d start stealing from the company! So he starts congratulating the thugs on their victories, and starts listing a huge list of equipment that was to be shipped out, and I’m listening intently, completely shocked by these events.

Now, I may drink. I may gamble. But one thing I don’t do, is smoke. And it just so happens, that one of the thugs was blatantly disregarding the no inside smoking policy, and was puffing on a rather large, disgusting cigar. And it just so happens, that the smoke seeped through the cracks of the door, and began to fill the hall near the door to the small little back room. I tried not to, but pretty soon, I coughed.

The conversation inside immediately stopped, and Starr commanded one of the goons to open the door. I cursed under my breath and tried to retreat, but he was quick, and the door opened, and they all saw me clearly.

They pursued me a little ways, but luckily they didn’t continue as I ran into the crowded hallway outside. I caught my breath, and like any good employee, made my way to the office of the security chief. He was a rather large, muscular, African American man, in a tan security uniform and carrying a walkie-talkie. I began to tell him about what I’d seen and heard, about the thefts, the goons, everything.

Then he stops me, assures me it’s all under control.

I try to tell him again, and that a large group of robbers, is not “under control”, but he would have none of it, and sent me on my way, without so much as a second thought.

I grumbled about incompetent security, made my way to the elevator, and went to the top floor of the Stark Industries building. There I was greeted by a nice redhead (now that I think of it, the same one I saw at the funeral today) and I told her that I urgently needed to see Tony Stark, right away. She assured me that “Mr. Stark” was out of town on business in Asia, and that I would not be able to see him until he came back, but she would be happy to take a message. I said no thank you, and rode the elevator back down to my floor, dejected and defeated. I decided that, if no one cared to listen, it isn’t really my fault, and who cares if Stark gets robbed blind. Doesn’t affect me. I got off the elevator, and was greeted in my lab by a distinct lack of a pen.

I procured a pen from a different supply room, and made it through the day without much happening, I worked late that day, didn’t really feel like hitting the bars for once, and pretty soon it was dark, and I was one of the very few people still in the building. Then a large, ugly, goon of a man walked into my lab, accompanied by two other large, ugly, goons.

“Are you Hank Pym?” one asked.

I mumbled a feeble yes. The man was certainly intimidating to say the least.

“You seem to like listening to other people’s business, Mr. Pym,” said the thug, moving closer. I backed away nervously.

“What? Me? No…” I started sweating.

“You shouldn’t be so curious, Mr. Pym.” With that, he produced a silenced pistol, as did his partners. “Remember, curiosity killed the cat.”

As he fired, I managed to dive behind a desk. “Get him!” the goon yelled.

Suddenly I had an idea! I ran as fast as I could to my testing area, bullets whizzing by as I went. I grabbed two canisters and scrambled to the floor. I had in my hand two emitters: one to shrink, and one to grow. I pointed the first canister at myself, and pulled the trigger. The trigger started a chemical reaction that emitted the miracle particles all over my body. It worked just in time. By the time the thugs arrived at where I was, I was the size of an ant.

“Hey, where’d he go?” asked a goon. Unnoticed by them, I crawled across the floor and under the desk.

“We know you’re in here, Mr. Pym,” yelled the leader of the group. “You’d better come out. If you don’t…” He reached over and smashed my computer. “Well, you’ll have to say goodbye to your machines.”

The goons began ransacking my lab. They overturned my desk, and I got away just in time, as papers and charts clattered to the floor around me. The goons looked significantly larger since I was the size of an ant, and they were certainly imposing, but I had to stop them! I couldn’t just watch all my work be demolished by some thieving savages!

I latched onto the lead thug’s pant leg, and began to climb. It wasn’t easy, and I was scared out of my mind. His movement made the fabric wave constantly, and there weren’t many stable handholds.

Eventually, I reached the top of his shirt. I crawled across his shoulder to his ear. Amazingly, he still hadn’t noticed me.

“I’m right here, idiot!” I yelled into his ear. He jumped and yelled, and I almost flew off right there, but I managed to hold on.

He looked at me, amazed and surprised. “Now stop smashing my work,” I said as strongly and angrily as I could, then launched myself at his nose and swung my fist as hard as I could.

Those particles sure are amazing. At that size, I shouldn’t have done nearly as much damage as I did, but somehow, by some bizarre happenings, my punch was as strong as it would have been at full-size. It’s apparent I need to study these particles more.

So anyway, I punched him across the face, and he fell. Apparently I’m stronger than I thought. I even knocked out a tooth. I hung on as best I could as he fell, I let go just when he collided with the ground, and I landed rather skillfully.

I glanced at the other goons. They looked very scared. I ran up to one and punched him as hard as I could in the ankle. He screamed and grabbed his leg. I punched him again. The other looked on in amazement, dumbfounded. I made short work of them both, if I do say so myself.

I liked the feeling of adventure, I liked the feeling of beating up those thugs, and I didn’t really want to get shot at again, so I decided to stop the upcoming robberies once and for all. I grew myself, and made my way to the supply room…

Let me buy you another drink and you can hear the rest…

To be continued…